What Do The Redefined ‘Rules Of Marriage Proposals’ Look Like Today? Find Out.

A look at pragmatic marriage proposals, true egalitarianism, honest expressions of love and more.

What’s the first image that comes to your mind when we ask you to imagine a marriage proposal? We bet it’s that of a man going down on one knee with an engagement ring in his hand. It’s “tradition” after all, isn’t it?

Well, you’re not to blame; such marriage proposal theatrics have been followed since centuries. But here’s the thing: The rules of engagement have evolved over the years, just like the engagement ring trends (thankfully!) Today, getting engaged is less about following the societal rulebook and more about re-writing them. It’s about crafting an experience that reflects your love story and feels authentic to you and your partner.

For starters, you don’t need to break the bank to make the proposal a super big (read: Instagrammable) deal. It can be an intimate affair with a ring that fits your budget. And although we love the idea of surprising your bae with the rock of her dreams, we’re now seeing more and more couples buying engagement rings together as a unit.

Want to know more? Let’s dive deeper into this modest proposal on rethinking ‘will you marry me?’

An Updated Take on Marriage Proposals for 2023 & Beyond

1. You Don’t Have To Spend A 3-Months’ Salary On The Ring (Or The Proposal)

Growing up, we’ve all heard of the “3-months’ salary rule” which dictates that if a man earns $80,000 a year, he should spend $20,000 on an engagement ring for his future wife. Insane, right?

BTW, this so-called rule-of-thumb was nothing more than a marketing gimmick designed to increase sales and encourage the growing middle class to spend more on flashier engagement rings during The Great Depression. But here’s the real nugget of wisdom: A ring should cost whatever you can afford. If you wish to go above & beyond and splurge on your engagement ring, do so by all means. But if it looks like you’re going to spend the beginning of your married life paying off wedding and engagement ring debts, it’s best not to push your financial limits.

What you can do is openly communicate about your situation and hash out a budget with your S.O—an amount that you’re comfortable spending. Hesitating? Don’t; because it’s more common than you’d think. As per The Knot 2022 Real Weddings Study, 90% of Gen Zs and 86% of millennials discussed future finances before getting engaged.

In fact, why should the proposer need to foot the entire ring bill? There’s no such rule set in stone. If you’re the recipient and are obsessed with Meghan Markle’s three-stone engagement ring (an extremely popular engagement ring style in 2023) or would like to shop a vintage-inspired engagement ring, why not offer to contribute to the ring’s total budget? Equal partnership in the truest sense and a style you’ve always dreamt of – it’s a win-win!

But fortunately, you’re sure to find an engagement ring for women—a sentimental heirloom rich in meaning—that fits within your budget, thanks to the customisation options we offer at Angara. It’s pretty easy too; once you’ve narrowed down the proposal ring design, all you need to do is select the stone quality, carat weight and metal that meets your budget and style preferences. Neat, huh?

Pro-tip: If you’ve picked out a super unique engagement ring style or design, now would be the best time to shop for a matching wedding band too. Buying a bridal set won’t just ensure your rings complement each other, but as you’re buying two at a go, you might be able to save a pretty penny too.

Now, who’s ready to do some engagement ring and wedding band shopping?

2. Engagement Rings Need Not Be A Secret

Traditionally, proposals were meant to be a (romantic) surprise. Therefore, women weren’t a part of the ring-picking process. You’d have to let your partner know about your ring preferences through the grapevine or drop nonchalant hints hoping they’d get it. Spoiler alert: We’re not living in the ’50s anymore, so it’s time to update this engagement ring custom once and for all.

Instead of waiting for him to snoop through your Pinterest board, communicating your ring preferences openly and honestly to your partner (especially if a bespoke sparkler is involved) is considered completely okay now. After all, an engagement ring is a bauble you’ll wear for the rest of your life—it’s your forever ring—so doesn’t it make sense that you have a say in it? In fact, according to recent  data reported by Brides, 62 percent of couples are now going engagement ring shopping together.

Having said that, if you’d still like your proposal and ring to be a romantic surprise, communicate this to your partner.

3. Diamond Rings Are No Longer The Norm

Yes, you heard that right!

The ‘diamond is forever’ story was sure impactful and stuck with the masses for years. However, we’re now seeing a shift from the flawless solitaire diamond engagement ring to coloured gemstone rings that are full of character. And TBH, this makes us very happy as we’re all for adding colour to people’s lives through fine jewellery. After all, colour changes everything for the better. They express, they emote; they have a way of expressing feelings when words fall short. For example, our popular blue sapphire engagement ring says, “I promise endless love and loyalty.” Similarly, an emerald engagement ring says, “My love for you grows each day.” Plus, with a coloured gemstone engagement ring, there is so much scope for the wearer’s personality to come through.

P.S. Couples are even going a step further and custom-designing the ring themselves so it reflects their love story in an authentic way. Before you start to feel all frazzled, let us tell you it’s much easier than you think, especially if you’re designing your engagement ring with us using our Create With Angara platform.

It lets you take your pick from an extensive gemstone library (we’ve got a stone in every hue you can ever imagine so you can bring your dream vision to life), followed by selecting a setting type, a shank style and a metal of your choice. You can even personalize it further with a special engraving done if you’d like. Sounds fun, no?

4. Who Should Put A Ring On It?

Must only a man propose or a woman can do it too? Can both of them do it?

Our answer: Yes, and yes!

Gone are the days when only men did all the heavy lifting. Today’s women are unafraid to take charge and pop the question too. Joint proposals are especially common among same-sex and heterosexual couples where two people in love essentially propose marriage to each other by giving a ring each.

We, at Angara, have been fortunate enough to witness such wonderful gestures firsthand as one of our customers shared,

“I asked her to marry me with her birthstone ring. She said yes and then proceeded to buy me my birthstone engagement ring from Angara. We love them and each other. I would definitely recommend your company for these quality products and the happiness they can bring.”

– Denise.

Read more of our pride month customer stories. Warning: You might want to keep a tissue box handy.

All we have to say is that love is wonderful and incomprehensible, and it’s nice to see us humans trying to make sense of this all-important emotion. As more and more marriage proposals get progressive each year by tying traditions with personal flare, it’s safe to say that there’s a collective move toward lifting the pressure off and giving up strict gender roles. We’re ushering into an era where we understand and support honest expressions of love.