Hey there,
A little birdie told us that you are finally ready to propose. Is that true? If so, congratulations! We can’t wait for you to start this new chapter of your life.
That said, proposing (especially over dinner) does involve a lot of planning and one may contemplate whether to propose before or after the meal. If you’re one of them, don’t worry! Because in today’s article, we’re going to answer the tricky question ‘Should I propose before or after dinner?‘ What’s more, we’ll also give you some tips and tricks that’ll help you make the moment absolutely perfect.
So, what are you waiting for? Grab a chair and read on!
Before we get into the meat of the topic, let’s first discuss whether proposing during a meal is a good option for you. To answer this question, take a second and consider three things:
Q1. Is either of you a chef?
Q2. Do either of you have a passion for the culinary arts?
Q3. Do either of you have fond memories that involve cooking or eating out?
If the answer to any of the above is yes, then proposing over dinner is probably the best choice for you.
So, Should You Propose Before or After Dinner?
Honestly speaking, there’s no right or wrong answer here and the same really just depends on you. Having said that, we’ve listed down the pros and cons of each option to help you make your final decision:
| Proposing Before Dinner | |
| Pros | Cons |
| You won’t be nervous during the meal. | Your celebration may be less intimate. |
| You can spend your dinner celebrating. | It can get awkward. |
| Your family and friends can join in. | |
| Proposing After Dinner | |
| Pros | Cons |
| You can focus on your meal. | You may spend most of your evening nervous. |
| You can have a more intimate celebration later. | Your meal may end on an abrupt note. |
| You have an escape plan if she says no. |
Pros of Proposing Before Dinner
• Bid Your Nerves Farewell
Are you someone who tends to get anxious in front of a crowd and before big speeches? If so, we definitely recommend popping the question before the actual meal. This will give you less time to overthink the situation and more time to celebrate her agreement. It’s a win-win situation if you ask us.
• Your Entire Meal Can Be a Celebration
This is provided she says yes, of course! (Which between you and us, we’re sure she will) Think: Squeals of joy, sighs of contentment, and exciting conversations about the future. You can even make plans with the restaurant and arrange for a violinist to serenade the both of you in honour of her ‘yes.’ What’s more romantic than that?
• Family and Friends Can Join In
Is your bae extremely close to her loved ones? Because if so, imagine this: You take your girl to a wonderful restaurant for dinner. And just before the first course arrives, you drop to one knee and propose. She says yes and hears people cheering. She then turns around and sees her closest friends and family – all ready to wish her and join in on the celebratory meal.
Can you think of a better way to propose? We certainly can’t and we bet neither will she.
Also read: 10 Engagement Ring Proposal Ideas
Cons of Proposing Before Dinner
• Your Celebration May Be Less Intimate
Needless to say, the most typical conclusion to a successful proposal is people coming up to you and congratulating you. This essentially means that you could have a lot of strangers interrupting you during your meal to wish you success. And while this might not be a big deal, if you want something more intimate, we recommend waiting until the meal is over, popping your question and making a quick escape post.
• It Can Get Awkward
This is probably the biggest con of popping your question before the meal and is something we always tell people when they ask us the following question – ‘Should I propose before or after dinner?‘
While we’re almost sure that your girl will give you an enthusiastic yes, there is a slight possibility that she’ll say no. In a situation like that, either one or both of y’all would want to get up and leave. This could result in a lot of stares that may put you in an awkward position. Alternatively, if you’re proposing while waiting for the food to arrive, you may have to stay back and finish your meal with your partner. And this situation could get very upsetting, really quickly.
Also Read: Promise Rings vs. Engagement Rings: What’s the Difference?
Pros of Proposing After Dinner
• You Can Focus on Your Meal First
Who doesn’t love to enjoy a fantastic meal with their partner? We definitely do and we bet you do too! This, unfortunately, may not happen if you propose before dinner.
‘Why?’, you ask. Well, as touched upon before, if your girlfriend says yes, there’s a good chance that strangers will come up to you throughout your meal and congratulate you. And if you’re someone who prefers a little privacy, then this could ruin your moment.
You can easily avoid this by proposing after the dessert’s done!
• You Can Have a More Intimate Celebration Later
Who says the night has to end after you pop the question? Plan ahead – After she says yes, take her to a romantic spot where the two of you can spend some time together. Alternatively, you could ask a friend or family member to decorate your apartment during the meal so the two of you could go back home to an intimate yet romantic celebratory setup.
• You Have an Escape Plan if She Says No
As mentioned before, there is a slight possibility that your partner might not be ready for a huge commitment. By proposing at the end of dinner, you can ensure a quick getaway if the same does not go according to plan – all you need to do is pay the bill and leave.
Cons of Proposing After Dinner
• You May Spend Most of the Evening Nervous
Let’s be honest – Asking her to marry you (even if she is the love of your life) is a huge step and can therefore be nerve-wracking. It can cause you to fret over the most minute details and overthink the situation as a whole. This behaviour will only worsen the longer you take to pop the question and you may wind up not enjoying your meal. What’s more, your partner will probably pick up on your social cues and may either think that something’s wrong or possibly get clued into the surprise.
If the above sounds like something that could happen to you, then we’d definitely recommend proposing before the meal arrives.
• Your Meal May End on an Abrupt Note
This statement is especially true if you propose before dessert. Of course, doing this doesn’t mean that you can’t stay back for dessert but most couples tend to leave the restaurant and move on to the next part of the evening once they get engaged. Speaking of which, if you don’t have something planned immediately after the proposal, the night might end on a slightly abrupt note and this in turn, could reduce the joyousness of the occasion.
Now that you know the pros and cons of both scenarios, you have all the information you need to answer the question – ‘Should I propose before or after dinner?’
Have you settled on your choice? If so, good job – you’re now ready to read the next section of this article.
How Do You Choose the Best Restaurant?
When it comes to a proposal, everything needs to be perfect. This includes but is not limited to the kind of restaurant you choose. Don’t know where to start? No worries – mentioned below are four things you need to keep in mind in order to pick the best eatery for your big moment.
1) Your Girlfriend’s Personality
While your girlfriend may be a foodie, we highly doubt she’d enjoy a public proposal if she’s not a fan of the spotlight. In our opinion, a great way to get the best of both worlds here is to opt for a restaurant that has a room set aside for private events. If they don’t, you could speak to the restaurant manager and try and book the entire space for a few hours.
Having said the above, if your partner is someone who loves the limelight, then reserving the prime seat in a crowded restaurant may be the way to go.
2) Her Favourite Cuisine
Is it Italian, Chinese, continental, or something completely different? Take a minute to really think about it and then make your reservation accordingly.
3) Does the Restaurant have Sentimental Value?
The only thing that could make your proposal more perfect is if the place you pick has sentimental value. You could take her to the restaurant where y’all had your first date or the cafe where you first told her you love her. If a sentimental place is out of the question, try making a reservation at a restaurant with a good view, romantic interiors, or a live band.
4) Flexibility of the Restaurant
In our opinion, after you answer the question, ‘Should I propose before or after dinner?’, the flexibility of the restaurant should be the next thing on your mind.
It’s always a good idea to pick a restaurant that’ll help you execute your engagement as planned. Speak to the manager and ask them if they’re willing to help you hide the ring or decorate the table with roses. Apart from this, ask them if they’re willing to keep the waitstaff informed about your plans beforehand so that everything runs smoothly.
What Are Some Tips to Ensure a Smooth Proposal?
• Write Your Speech Beforehand
Don’t be fooled – your partner will expect you to make a speech when presenting her with the engagement ring. And if you aren’t someone who can think on their feet, having a few points memorized will really help.
P.S. Talking about how beautiful, kind, smart, and funny she is will definitely earn you some brownie points.
• Know Where You’re Going to Hide the Ring
Is it going to be placed on the table or will your server bring it out at the appropriate time? Try and figure out these details well in advance to ensure a smooth proposal.
Additional Tip: We don’t recommend placing your ring inside a champagne glass or in a bowl of ice cream as that could result in a messy situation.
• Bring Some Tissues
Proposals are emotional events and chances are either one or both of you are going to shed some tears. Trust us, having a box of tissues on hand will help.
• Wear Something Nice
Proposing to your girlfriend is just one of those moments that you need to dress up for. And while this tip eventually depends on where you go, we do recommend ditching the jeans and sneakers as much as possible. Apart from this, make sure that your partner also dresses up for the event. You can do this by letting her know that the place you’ve selected has a business casual or formal dress code.
• Arrange for Photos to Be Taken
We bet this is one moment you’ll want to take a picture and/or video of. Speak to the restaurant manager beforehand and figure out the best angle for you to take your photos. You could also instruct the waitstaff to start taking a video the minute you go down on one knee. Besides this, you could ask a few close friends to hide in different parts of the restaurant and subtly take photos of the entire proposal.
Did You Know?
December is the most popular month for engagements.
And if that’s when you are planning to propose, you should start preparing already. Still looking for that perfect ring? cheque out our vast collection of engagement rings and pick one that’s sure to sweep your partner off her feet!
Serious about your relationship but not yet ready to propose? You should surprise her with a promise ring instead to show her your love and commitment.
Also Read: What Are Promise Rings?
